JUST BEING DEVINE

August 1, 2018

8/1/2018

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Hey, kids.

So weird I posted 2 days ago but here I am once again (did you MISSSS ME?!).

Remember on Monday when I mentioned 3 mosquito bites perfectly aligned across my back? WELL Monday night I was editing music while watching Real Housewives of NYC and a mosquito zoomed past me in slow motion with its legs delicately dangling beneath them. It freaked me out so much that I made the face to the right. I then proceeded to follow the mosquito across my kitchen and then exterminate it with my seven-dollar flip flop I bought at a janky TJ MAXX when I got a blister working in midtown. 
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​The insect exploded and my soft-gray accent-wall suffered the consequences. Tragic. I’m not saying it was THAT mosquito that gave me the ellipsis branding on my back but by the looks of all that sangre it’s leaving me with little room for doubt.
Last night I went to a stand-up comedy night at my local performance center and let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like bad comedy. I wanted to, in a word, disappear. There’s something about people trying to be funny and failing that makes me suffer from such terrible second-hand embarrassment that I’d rather sink slowly into the ground and vanish into the depths of the Chamber of Secrets. Actually if we’re being honest I’d visit the Chamber on my own for purely academic reasons:

  1. I straddle that fine line between Slytherin and Gryffindor (@Harry) and want to see if I’d be accepted as a friend and enemy
  2. I am not afraid of snakes (@Dr. Jones) and would like to see about putting a leash on that basilisk and training it as a form of Uber transportation
  3. I’d like to find that GAPING HOLE in the ground that Fawkes found in order to fly everyone out of the Chamber, send up red sparks from my wand, and say to whichever professor found me “excuse me, but was this hole not a dead giveaway?”

I feel like this post has taken a weird turn… whatever, that’s my update.

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July 30, 2018

7/30/2018

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Hey, kids.
 
This morning I am annoyed. I was casually enjoying my Instagram stories this morning when I came across something that was extremely problematic. After watching the first few clips of a KKW Insta-story, a new clip began with Kim asking Kendall to repeat herself and Kendall saying something to the effect of “I’m worried you aren’t eating,” only to have Kim laugh it off, Kendall to say how skinny she looks and Kim to passionately thank her.
 
IIIIIIII have a couple of questions. No, actually, I don’t. I just have something to say. Having someone accuse you of not eating because you look skinny and then saying “thank you” is something... we have all probably done. I’m not going to pretend to be a politically correct angel because we’ve all likely done it. The PROBLEM is posting that exchange to your 114 MILLION followers, most of whom, I assume, are women. The message that this clip sent to her followers is that you need to look like you are starving yourself in order to receive a compliment on your body… that people need to express concern over your health in order for you to be beautiful. Am I being a lot? Am I off? Am I taking this too far? Regardless, I was FLOORED that someone who I actually really admire would post something like this publically.
 
Moving on…

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July 23, 2018

7/23/2018

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Good morning, kids.

Let me start by saying this: I saw Taylor Swift last night at her third night at MetLife and *it* *was* *magic* LITERALLY pure magic. This woman didn’t miss a damn beat; whether it was singing on her journey from stage to stage or throwing a random verse of one song into a completely different one, she is the absolute master of surprise. Also, our seats were riiiight next to one of her alt. stages which left us within, maybe, 15 feet of her and, let me just say, that woman’s skin is FLAWLESS. The rain held off during the show until the finale, when it started down-pouring during the last chorus. You don’t know sensory overload until there are fireworks going off, rain is coming down, and Taylor Swift is giving you literal song therapy.

Moving right along… I got a new microphone for the purposes of doing my own recordings and it hath rocked my world. I sent a demo of my next single to some frenz and they agree, my last mic was trash and now I’ve graduated to the big leagues. Moral of the story is: stay tuned for a new bop. It’s a love song… ugh.
​

THAT’S MY (very musical) UPDATE!

via GIPHY

(That is me internally losing it)

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