August 1, 2018

Hey, kids.

So weird I posted 2 days ago but here I am once again (did you MISSSS ME?!).

Remember on Monday when I mentioned 3 mosquito bites perfectly aligned across my back? WELL Monday night I was editing music while watching Real Housewives of NYC and a mosquito zoomed past me in slow motion with its legs delicately dangling beneath them. It freaked me out so much that I made the face to the right. I then proceeded to follow the mosquito across my kitchen and then exterminate it with my seven-dollar flip flop I bought at a janky TJ MAXX when I got a blister working in midtown. 

​The insect exploded and my soft-gray accent-wall suffered the consequences. Tragic. I’m not saying it was THAT mosquito that gave me the ellipsis branding on my back but by the looks of all that sangre it’s leaving me with little room for doubt.

Last night I went to a stand-up comedy night at my local performance center and let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like bad comedy. I wanted to, in a word, disappear. There’s something about people trying to be funny and failing that makes me suffer from such terrible second-hand embarrassment that I’d rather sink slowly into the ground and vanish into the depths of the Chamber of Secrets. Actually if we’re being honest I’d visit the Chamber on my own for purely academic reasons:

1. I straddle that fine line between Slytherin and Gryffindor (@Harry) and want to see if I’d be accepted as a friend and enemy
2. I am not afraid of snakes (@Dr. Jones) and would like to see about putting a leash on that basilisk and training it as a form of Uber transportation
3. I’d like to find that GAPING HOLE in the ground that Fawkes found in order to fly everyone out of the Chamber, send up red sparks from my wand, and say to whichever professor found me “excuse me, but was this hole not a dead giveaway?”

I feel like this post has taken a weird turn… whatever, that’s my update.

TWEET: @iatemuggles

no commercial has yet to top this pic.twitter.com/dSSwbZDAQn

— hiba (@iatemuggles) July 23, 2018

I bet you forgot about this... I bet you're gonna watch the whole thing. 

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IG POST: @mytherapistsays

A post shared by Lola Tash and Nicole Argiris (@mytherapistsays) on Jul 31, 2018 at 5:33pm PDT

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Beyoncé Reportedly Given ‘Unprecedented Control’ Over Vogue’s September Cover
Emilia Petrarca, THE CUT

“In a new report from Yashar Ali at HuffPost, published Monday afternoon, Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour has allegedly granted Beyoncé Knowles “unprecedented control” over the magazine’s September issue, which hits newsstands August 14.

Beyoncé reportedly hired 23-year-old photographer Tyler Mitchell to shoot her cover photo, which would make him the first black photographer to shoot a cover in Vogue’s 126-year history. Our source close to Mitchell corroborates this report.
​
According to Ali’s sources, Vogue and Beyoncé signed a contract that would give her “full control” over the cover, the photos of her inside the magazine, and the captions, which she has written herself in long-form. Beyoncé loves a good contract, so at least that bit checks out.”

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IG POST: @menotgivingafuck

A post shared by Me Not Giving A Fuck (@menotgivingafuck) on Jul 31, 2018 at 8:57am PDT

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TWEET: @RWitherspoon

Watched a GREAT romantic comedy @SetItUpNetflix this weekend ... which made me think .. why aren’t there more romantic movies □□□?!??! pic.twitter.com/YF0jcfujSz

— Reese Witherspoon (@RWitherspoon) July 31, 2018

I saw this about a month ago and let me just say, without ruining it, I REALLY WISH they had kissed after getting that pizza. The ending was kind of anticlimactic and I wanted a post-credit scene. 

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TWEET: @vaginarwhals

A post shared by memes (@vaginarwhals) on Jul 31, 2018 at 10:21am PDT

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IG POST: @rupikaur_

A post shared by rupi kaur (@rupikaur_) on Jul 30, 2018 at 3:59pm PDT

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IG POST: @betches

A post shared by Betches (@betches) on Jul 29, 2018 at 1:58pm PDT

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IG POST: @popsugar

A post shared by POPSUGAR (@popsugar) on Jul 29, 2018 at 11:06am PDT

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Okkkkkk cya!